This grandfather has seen life in its many colors. Joys and celebrations leave you glad to be alive and with your loved ones who form the core of your family and existence. When a loved one passes away, it is painful and for immediate family members, the loss can be hard to bear.

Sometimes, sadness of losing someone becomes so strong that it takes center stage of your life and one becomes stuck in intense mourning and goes into a complicated stage of grief. There could be an intense longing and yearning for the deceased, intrusive thoughts or images of the deceased; denial of the death or sense of disbelief, imagining that your loved one is alive, searching for the person in familiar places, avoiding things that remind you of your loved one, extreme anger or bitterness and feeling that life is empty or meaningless...

Such grief can also lead to depression. In grieving process one may have moments of pleasure or happiness; but in depressionthe feelings of emptiness and despair are constant. A pervasive sense of guilt, thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying and feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness; Inability to function at work, home, and/or school and even seeing or hearing things that aren't there! If such emotions are left untreated, complicated grief and depression can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide.

Some say, “The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.”; I think, ignoring pain will make it only worse in long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it. Some say, “It is important to be ‘Be Strong’ in the face of loss.” I think to be sad or lonely or frightened is normal reaction to loss. You don't need to “Protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Be honest and show your true feelings.

A death in the family leaves a void that cannot be filled. No one can ever take the place of this individual in the world. We should not try to comfort the family by saying that “It was her/his time anyway", or, “He/She was suffering". These may be words of comfort later. However, there must be time to mourn the fact that things will never be the same. One minute he was here and now he is gone. The human mind must be allowed to sit with this reality. Mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. If it is ignored, a general feeling of sadness may pervade the whole family.

Are there stages of grief?
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “Five Stages of Grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but can be generalized to death of a loved one also.

The five stages of grief are:

1. Denial: “This can't be happening to me.”
2. Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
3. Bargaining: “Make this not happen,
and in return I will ____.”
4. Depression: “I'm too sad to do anything.”
5. Acceptance: “I'm at peace with what happened.”

Spiritualism and religion can help us learn that loss is a basic part of our life cycle. Whatever is born must die. Whatever grows must decay. These are universal laws. We tend to forget that these physical bodies are mortal. Everything we see around us will one-day decay and cease to be. That includes all plants, animals, people, buildings, cities, the planet earth, the sun and even the galaxy.

How can I help a friend with the death of a loved one?
The fear of making things worse may discourage you to do nothing but remember that it is better to try to do something, inadequate as you may feel, than to do nothing at all. Most important thing you can do is listen. Grief is a very confusing process, expressions of logic are lost on the griever. Be present, show that you care, listen.

It does not matter that you do not understand the details, your presence is enough. In your visit, do some act of kindness, like answer phone, prepare meals, care of children, shop for groceries, meet incoming planes or provide lodging for out of town relatives. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.

How can I help a child grieving with the death of a loved one?

Children grieve just as adults do. Kids should be listened to carefully. When a death occurs children need to be surrounded by feelings of warmth, acceptance and understanding. Allow kids to participate in any of the arrangements, ceremonies and gatherings which are comfortable for them. Explain them what will be happening and why it is happening. Key is participation, do not force it. Forced participation can be harmful. Children instinctively have a good sense of how involved they wish to be.

Is it possible to grieve the death of a loved one without crying?

Crying is normal response to sadness but it is not the only one. It is a myth that, “If you don't cry, it means you aren't sorry about the loss.” To some Grief last about a year, to some the time frame is longer. But there is no fixed time. How long it takes can differ from person to person. However, if you feel like crying but can't — then you need help of a counselor. Depending on the circumstances, short-term use of antidepressants or other medications might be warranted as well.

The grieving process commands respect and requires time. However, If you're concerned about reaching a healthy resolution to your grief, seek the professional help, talk to your elders, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts. May peace be with you.
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“A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl." - Stephan Hoeller